Sunday noon~

Sigh~ Envy jojo & tingting.
they can get all e attention they wan from mummy but i cant get e attention i wan.
why they can have a proper family but i cant?
no matter how many people around me i still cant get e parents love i wan.
am i wrong to ask for it?
am i asking too much?
:"{

late night

I really really don't know whats going on now!
I'm always feeling so up sad now & then.
This few nights i've been crying a lot.
I miss him so much.
I don't know am i thinking too much or putting things in a bad situation & over think of it.
Actually i'm really scared i still couldn't put down e past hurt i had.
I'm afraid it has become a fear to me.
It's like hunting me each time i try to put all my best in something i really care & love a lot.
I'm scared i'll use him.
I'm scared i'll use him to fill up e hole.
I'm scared i wouldn't love him enough.
I'm scared i'll hurt him super deep.
I'm scared i'll screw everything up.
I'm scared i'll change as time goes.
I'm scared of so many things.
I'm scared of my own feelings.
BUT I'm scared to lose him too.
I don't know what i'm thinking no
I've lost control of myself!
I don't know how to handle things coming my way anymore.
I really wan to get away from this place!
I really need to find a place where i can have sometime for myself to relax not get stress.
It's been a long time since i last cried so badly.
I really need to let it out!
Crying was e best way for me get myself outta stress but again i felt weak by doing so.
This is probably my only weak point.
I've no idea what's going to happen next!
It's been almost 8 months from then till now.
I seriously wants things to get better!
I cant take all this drama anymore.
Think it's too much for me to take it.
NO MORE NONSENSE!
:"{

Emotional~

feeling super stuffy inside now. i have no idea why. its killing me bit by bit each time!

suddenly having flashback of what D did & hurt me so much. seriously i have no idea that would happen. izzit my karma? if its so i didnt do anything wrong to deserve such karma rite?! all of them left me i didnt leave them at all! so much so for loving them so much & when i almost decided to put my heart fully into it & all i get was all this shit that is happening.i seriously dont know what was going on with my life! do i really deserve such things?

having WD now izzit a gift from you telling me karma's over here's to cherish whats going to happen for the rest of my life? telling me that this world there is still good hearted man around not just e playboy's? if its so i'm really very grateful but all the karma before is hunting me, i'm having phobia with r/s. i know i can trust him but i cant trust myself anymore. i'm afraid i will go crazy once more not knowing what to do with my super broken heart. realize r/s is not a game my heart could take it anymore, i'm sick & tired of it. i even have this feeling of not getting bother nor having any connection with it anymore but it just seems to not leave me.

Confuse

HTHT with WD again.
This time round is about whether he should sign on a not & talked about what's going to happen for the next 5 years & how e lifestyle would be like. 2 years not being able to see him & contact less is a super big issue to me actually but I'm sure some how I should be able to fix it or adjust to it thou its going to be a crazy journey down this whole years thingy. I really don't wan to be e reason stopping him to do it & don't wan to be e reason for him to regret. I don't know what's going to happen 5 years down the road. Even that 4 days of not being able to contact with him alr shows everything!! I wasn't able to adjust suddenly but I'll have to learn to adjust all this things in life! I can't possibly think stuff that's me self centered. WD is not thinking this way which hurt me more cos his putting me 1st in everything which makes me falling deeper but I don't wan to do things that hurts him & of course I don't wanna lose him. I know his the type of guy that will love me forever without change. Maybe just sometimes in argument we quarrel & stuff but in e end we will still love each other still. WD always finds its way to fix things back properly & talk things out. Thats 1 thing I like the most! At least he talks about it & doesn't keep it to himself bottling up all.
This hurt painful feeling hasn't hit me for quite awhile. It's hurting me like crazy now! D': I have no idea what's life going to be between me & WD.

Crazy night!

OMG!! I've this feeling like i felt so wanted for the past Few weeks & now i felt so unwanted suddenly! It's been about 48 hrs plus since the last time I'm able to communicate with WD!! :'( feeling super moody at times. Sometimes I cannot even concentrate doing my work! Always waiting for your name to pop up on my phone! Missing that special ring tone fix for u on my mobile!! :( MISS YOU SO BADLY! The only way now for me to not think about u is to make myself busy with all the projects & phase test assignments. :/ I don't know how long more I can tahan before I break down thou it's just going to be 4 days without having u around no communication not reachable at all. Use to be able to survive without it but now it seems to be tough doing it! I have no idea why. Does this means you mean a lot to me now? So much so that I don't wanna lose u? Hmm.. Maybe it e reason.. Heart just prove to me your importance to me. Your part of me now. Without u I'm kinda lost. Feels like no one is there when I needed. I really wan to just hug you so tight now I don't wan to let go! D':

Randoms~

WD went back to camp for course all the way at book lay. Starting from monday onwards i don't get to see & talk to him so often like i use too. D: IMISSYOU SOSOSO MUCH!! <3 constantly checking phone to see if i'll get a text from you. hoping in the morning once i wake up i'll get to see a sweet morning text. been love sick for the past few days the moment i know i wouldn't be able to talk to you so often cos you're going to be super busy & tired. hurts so much so hear your voice yesterday sounding super tired & drain out, though you were crazy talking senseless to me in the conversation but i still love the way you talk & sound super different another part of you unlocked again~ under going searching all different sides of you~ its like a mystery that needs to be hunted in order to unlock all of them~

I'M ON A HUNTING SPREE NOW~ :D heheheheh! <3 

Counting down the hours before i can get to see you for another 48hours before you need to go back for course. after this i need to bottle up all your love for another few more weeks that i doubt i'll be able to see you. :( you becomes important to me now! it seems like i can't afford to lose you like how you said once you cannot bare & cannot afford to lose me cos you lose me once & it hurts like shit!

BABIE I'M TELLING YOU NOW! 

YOU WILL NOT LOSE ME EVER AGAIN! :D 

I PROMISE! <3

I'LL LOVE YOU LIKE I'VE NEVER LOVE ANYONE BEFORE! :*

Home alone SATURDAY NIGHT~

after so many months i've finally agree with my heart to let WD enter my life.
but i'm still not official with him yet. i dont know if its a good thing anot. i'm afraid i would hurt him. i still have that phobia in me to fully commit into relationship. :'( thanks to that ASSHOLE EX BF of mine. i dont know how can i love him so much before. really wasted a lot time & effort on him. spend so much tgt with him too but yet i still rmb the happy times we had tgt the few months after broke up instead of hating him for cheating on me. because of him i'm also afraid same thing history is going to happen on me again. i know i can trust WD but i cant trust myself. i dont know what will i do. i dont know if i will hurt him a not. i dont know if he can take my life style. i dont know if he really be able to take my attitude. i can be really bad ass attitude that even my family also cannot take it. but is not something i wan to. i wish i could change but i cant. its like fix into my system already. :'( i really dont know if i should go official. i dont wan to hurt him. his a nice guy he doesnt deserved to get hurt if i were too. maybe i shouldnt have turn the table the other way around back. should have stayed how we use to be. but again i sort of love him now. i dont dislike him like how i use to get annoyed by whatever he does. i always wan to see him no matter how much i say i DO NOT WANT TO! i always say words without filtering which hurts him indirectly unintentional. :'( never fails to check my phone always to see if i get any text or tweet from him. always checking his tweet. now i felt that his actual the guy i always envy to have. the nice sweet guy with surprises never fails to make u smile makes me love him more each time. i dont wan to lose him thou. i wan to keep him locked beside me forever. just that he has slightly bad temper, emotion & impatient. wonder how long will we last this long. his the sweetest so far. always there for me. spare me a lot of time no matter how much things he have to do & how tired he is. im quite hard to please which makes me guilty sometimes. but i dont know how to change. & i dont wan to change cos this is ME! he always fufill anything im craving for or whats on my mind. is like he knows me at the back of his friends. it feels like his always proud to have my everywhere he goes. he always talks about me. im like trending everywhere. he always brings me along to meet his friends. is he proud of having me that he wants to show everybody im his girl?? :| i really dont know whats going to happen down the road. all i know now is that i'm going to treasure what i have now den to regret ltr like 4 years back.

YOU CAN DO IT AMLY!! HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF!!

Late night~

Had a surprise from WD at work!! He came walking pass my outlet with his brothers~ hahah! That happy moment when I saw him stand right there smiling! That instant silly smile on my face! That spilt second moment! I really melt a bit. I guess it hit me somehow!

Was chatting with all of them.. Many things they have ask me about me & WD relation. It's complicated thou but it's just me that's having this whole relation hanging there. I don't know it I should really accept him or am I really ready for another hope!? Another better future for us!? But this 2 days I've been having weird feelings towards him! Did something's that I wouldn't do it for any other guys! It's something I went off my limits again! Did things that I would complain its troublesome & gets annoy by it! Worried he safety home cos his half drunk! That moment of thought came to me that I actually wan to send him bak home safely before I gets home! But cos my freedom restriction it doesn't allows me to do so which cause me to be so worried once I left the cab! That look on my face & feeling wasn't something I've felt before nor happened on anybody else!

Guess its high time I need to settle down once again think twice what I really want between me & WD!! I shall not cause anymore hurt to anybody else! He doesn't deserved to be treated this way! WD even thou I know u love me so much but I'm sorry I hurt u so badly all this while~ I'll make it up to u! Just waiting for the right time right place right feeling right mindset! ❤<3

Randomz~

Sudden think runs through my mind.. It's been so long last e matter happened.. I'll still think of you randomly.. Will u also think of me like how I always think of u? Guess the answer is clear..

I'm tired & sick of tearing over you.. I'm done with you! This time it's for real. I need to protect myself more den I leave it out open for hurt.. Think this the least I could do for myself..

Bad day!

24/5/12
Grandma suddenly forgets to wake me up for sch cos she thoughts if was a Friday & that I'm starting late. In e end I was late for class & to my surprise THIS STUPID FUCKING BITCH TEACHER LOCK ME OUT OF CLASS FOR BEING LATE! Cb! I was only that few mins late that's all! You kidding me bitch?! Locking us out from class & not marking out attendee ?! Fuck you! Fucking wasted time 1hr sitting outside class room! Fucking piss me off! Almost the whole class knows I'm damn pissed! Raging all over twitter!

When bak home after class & took a nap.. Suddenly I thought it was e next day & woke up shocking myself looking at e time 530pm! Thought y didn't I wake up for class & nobody called me! After awhile den I realize it was me thinking too much! It's still e same day!

Guess I need a better sleep now!

Tiring lonely night

been sad in this dark lonely night.. tearing once again hearing music on itunes make me so sad that i had to cry again.. tears just wouldn't listen to me anymore they just flow as & when they wan to.. i've just let my heart take over my mind again.. is it that difficult to just forget everything & left it behind?

i dont know what's wrong with me no more.. 

somehow i have some good feelings for des now.. but i don't know what kind of feeling it is.. doesn't seems to be very obvious at times.. maybe i just have to take a break again to really regain all my confidents in life again.. maybe all this was just a test to see how i can handle this in life.. how can i overcome all this difficulties in life & how fragile life's is.. maybe i just wasn't really ready to take such heavy responsible & commitment yet.. 

for now i just have to take time to finish up what i've just started.. things have to be clear out.. i've to settle myself out too! this is going way to long so strong. i have to be even stronger den this!

I'M ABLE TO DO SETTLE ALL THIS SHIT!

Deep Thoughts~

its amazing how each time i get into trouble my grandma always know how to comfort me with heartwarming words never once fail on me with whats she's doing rather each time she surprises me with what she can do & do it with all the love you can never give or feel from anybody else~ ThatHeartWarmingMemories <3 No other grandma can replace you! You will never know how much sorrow i felt when once you ignored me. You will never know how much your mood change mine. ILoveYouPOPO!!

its amazing how each time me & sis argue so much quarrel so much yet we still loves each other so much that within minutes after arguing or quarrel we will forget what just happened before & talk like nothing had happen like there isn't something sad or bad happen, somehow i manage to forgive & forget what ever she does to make me angry & pissed off. think its really cause i love her & cherish her a lot. she's the only real blood flowing siblings i have. ILoveYouDOGGY!!

its amazing how much i hate my mummy's new husband a lot but i feel how much mummy is going through. somehow i can feel the sorrow & loneliness in her heart its like i've been in her shoes before, is this called all kids & mother links heart? i talk to her sometimes even seen her watery eyes & tears sometimes. it really hurts me so much each time i see her broken & its like no ones there to help her, the only person she can talk to was my aunt her younger sis but aunt also has her problems to solve with which also cant help mummy much its all cause of her stupid husband who cause all this bad memories to my family since we were young. his actually not that bad just that he doesn't think before he act. i think he acts on anger! which i hate e most! i didn't wan to forgive him but family makes me no choice but to move on & forgive him. seeing grandma & mummy happy is what i want the most den to have myself being happy & see them sad especially mummy i don't wan to she her sad anymore. i wan her to feel that she can have a husband & family like other normal happy family have i know she's envy each time she sees happy family dining together but she doesn't have it cause her husband just spoils everything he has! HIS STILL A JERK TO ME! 2012 this is the year i grant mummy her wish having no sadness no hard feeling during the whole dinner together with everybody. smiling happily during dinner chatting & all like normal usual days its a bit hard & awkward for me but i made it with sis thou she hates him more den i do. we even took a family photo together smile like he doesn't exist. mummy was super happy. the smile on her face & long text massage she send me e next morning. i know everything melted her heart. that was the day she was waiting for so long in her life time. seeing everybody was the happiest in my whole life. nothing will hurt me more than seeing them heart broken. ILoveYouMUMMY!

i really wants a happy family from young like how most normal kids have but unfortunately i don't have that from ever since i was 1years old. you know how much it is for a kid at 1 year old to lost the whole family just like that? its very painful to ask what happen as you grow up. cause the truth just hurt you so much you just sometimes you wish you didn't have asked. just want to live in the magical land fantasy dreams i ever have. no sadness no heartbroken no lies. nothing but purely just the truth. its is so hard to just being truthful your entire life? somehow it does cause you just wan to protect your love once from being hurt by saying a lie to protect them but the more you use lies to cover things up the more you will just live in lies your entire life. never going to speak the truth anymore. things will all turn out differently once you know the truth & why they lied. even if you know why they lied its for your own good but you still wants to know the truth instead of lying cause being lied to its the most horrible feeling ever!

its been long time since i really sit on my bed thinking so much during the night viewing such nice scenery thinking what have i done in my whole life. things that i have yet to do must be done to what mistake i've done needs to be corrected!

I NEED TO LIVE MY LIFE WORTHY NOT WASTED FOR SOME JACKASS JERKS!
I NEED TO STAND BACK UP LIKE HOW I USE TO BE !
NOTHING CAN KNOCK ME DOWN!
NEVER ONCE I WILL ALLOW MYSELF TO BREAK DOWN!
SAY NO MORE TO SORROWS!
ITS GOING TO BE JUST HAPPINESS!
JUST HAPPINESS!!

27 April 2012 friday

due to ytd my stupid itchy fingers i when to peel e skin off my injured toe thinking nothing is wrong, just a few sec after i put e medi on it i striaght away scream in pain dont know wat to do.. almost cried! thats how pain it was once e medi tounches e wound & today its so pain that i couldnt walk properly at times. had to wear slippers to sch. think my right leg is damn jialet, everywhere is pain. i think i also injure some where near my ankle, it feel super pain at some point of time when i walked too long. just i need to visit the doctor again if it gets worst. sigh.... :'( 

had a very long day.. todays lesson theory was a bit dry but i still manage to stay awake during teaching.. just as i thought i can go home my friend reminded me that theres course workshop. totally shag after that.

ipv6 workshop is a total waste of time. quite boring & of course i didn't listen to what the speaker was talking about uh. was playing with my phone and talking to classmates. after class went to aunt place & head to airport together to send her off to bkk. what a nice life. i wish i can left town too. kinda sick of this town. needs a get a way to enjoy life.

after dinner just now i was very tired that i'm kinda down.. so many things running through my mind again.. so many things that i don't understand why i changed myself so much.. its like i have spilt personality now.. i have multi character.. so many thing i'm doing now i don't know which is my true self.. i have confuse with my true self & my fake self.. things are getting out a hand.. i really need a place to rest myself in peace! i just need a peace of mind to forget what ever has happened within this period of time.. i'm putting myself in so much sorrows.. i don't know what to do.. all i know now is to tired myself down to not be able to think about anything else anymore.. just drop dead on bed and doze off wake up with no problems occurring..

just don't know why i'm like this now.. so restless each day.. its because of YOU think i let YOU affect me too much i need to learn to stop letting YOU affect me this much.. I NEED TO GET BACK MY LIFE!

Party night..

22/4/12 party event at zirca..
Damn awesome fun night with my nitec friends & babies~ drank so fast I got too tipsy & when overboard at point of time.. Hahaha! But again.. Sucky thing I cried again.. Fucked up.. Meet bud near toilet once he reach infront of me I hugged him & burst into tears.. Omg! I never thought I will do that.. But that hug was so comfortable! Omg! The hugged I ever wanted.. So shiok! Love that so much.. After that I went to dance floor dance all my tears off.. Den head back home.. Shared cab with rong.. She sended me back.. I was surprise we actually still talk normally.. Not as awkward.. Had a very bad hangover e next day plus I have to work.. Damn it! I was totally shag max! Never felt that sick before.. Totally no mood for work.. Luckily I working until 1pm only.. Den cab home rest all e way.. But Monday I had super bad menses cramp & took mc.. 2 days mc just enough for me to rest.. Shiok.. Also put my heart to rest.. Guess I should control my emotions once I drink too much.. Must let it over take my mind.. Need to remove him deep down inside me.. Else I can ever overcome him.. But now I have another's person to miss no time for him anymore.. Must continue this way! Alisa you can do it!! Gambatte!!

Windy night

3 April 2012
Another cozy night..
I feel that something is wrong with me..
If I ever left 1 last breathe to live I will to see you (DLWJ).. I wan to ask you have you ever really fall in love with me for the past 7 mths when we were tgt.. Before everything starts before all e cheating & stuffs?
I also wan you to read all my post in blog for e past few mths when we were tgt.. I wan you to know what I'm really think from the start of our relationship till it ended..
You probably wouldn't see this nor have any regrets nor feeling while reading.. Think I know you too well.. Think I know e answer to my question.. It's probably a no. I was drunk the whole relationship I guess.. Even so I'm not regretful of being in this drunk relationship. I lie everything that happen between us.. Except for some arguments.. Love the way u scolded me too.. You always mouth hard heart soft.. I love you! Never lie a single bit of my love to u.
FYI I wasn't cheating on you.. I'm just friendly to my friends & u misunderstood me.. I didn't argue cause I know u already made up your mind to leave me.
You will be my lesson learn for future.. You will be put to past now & be memories. Hidden up. Never going to be found anywhere. No trace of your sight will be notice.
I HATED

im so fucking sad now..

after telling WD everything from my heart, pour out everything.

after reading my blog again.

kinda make me upset about what ever i do.

FUCKING HATE MYSELF SO MUCH!

i dont know what to do to myself anymore.

i just don't wan to do anything about love.

shall have a good night cry & head to bed.

this is what i hated the most!

FUCK MY LIFE!

1April2012

WHAT THE FUCK I JUST SAID!!

omg. where the fuck did i get the courage from to say all this shit?!

i know is kinda sad telling you the truth that i wouldn't like you & that my heart don't beat for anybody now.

but the thing is i don't wan you ti fall for me.

i know the feeling sucks. n that i shouldn't play with you part time bf anymore.

but i know that thats not the case. you will get damn up set n i don't know whats going to happen.

so i choose not to say that but make it clear that what my heart & mind is really thinking about.

cos deep down inside i'm really not think or wan to have another r/s for the time being.

i know i have cross myself yet. i need a lot of time. i don't wan you to waste this time on me.

i dont wan to hurt anybody already. THAT FEELING IS SUCKS TO THE MAX!!

i really appreciate everything you do for me but i just wan to let you know what i really thinking inside hope you really understand what i mean & i don't wan to take you for granted!

i also don't know why u will fall when we say no. things turn out to be this way i have no choice but to pour my heart out about everything which means what ever i said hurts a lot & i know they sound harsh!

I'M SORRY BUT I DONT WANT YOU TO HURT & FALL DEEPER!

Surprise

13mar2012
This was e day that everything stops!
I don't know how but I got a sudden courage to did e talking & break up. But I walked away after I found the answer that I wanted to know. N cos I couldn't hide my emotions anymore n after I walked away I had a bad relieve. I drop down crying damn badly n walked all e way home. I knew I had to clam down. But I still needed help from alcohol to do that. Drank 1 can at least it stop my tears n pain in my heart for awhile n after that I didn't feel a thing anymore. From that on I didn't talk a single word. Not until a call from him again e next day saying he still has some more things to talk about. But I didn't wan to cos everything was said clearly n I know u got ur heart straight already. So stop all that talking that u want to tell me! I've understand everything that happened already! That's no point telling me anymore! I've done e break up already! Now just stop it! I'm no longer anybody to u & u can't control me anymore. Just go get busy with your new girl! She will be delighted to entertain u that whole time!

That week when I knew something is wrong & I got it all right about my senses?! That's where I've hind u that I knew something's wrong & I thought u would have sense it n tell me the truth. But u didn't. U continue hiding me from the truth n that makes me hurt so much & came to know my heart stops beating for you.
A month ago was where we stopped!
It was so hard for me to say the break up n caught u with u girl talking tgt. It cuts right through my heart. From e moment u say cos I started all this I know I've lost everything. N I have no trust anymore. Not a single love inside me for you was there! Everything becomes hate! This is e only way to for me to forget who u were to me. Easier for me to get back with my life without you. I know I wouldn't matters to u anymore. Hope your choice on this whole cheating thing is wat u wanted.

It's just another break up!! I'll be able to deal with it. No problems. Just this time it's slightly harder for me to let go & forget what has happened! I'll be able to overcome all this facts. Not a single memory will be remembered! AMLY you have to forget what all this months have happened! IT'S ALL JUST A DREAM!! Back to reality! This world is cruel nothing it gonna make your life easier. You just have to suck it up! Live e life u want not bring more hurt to yourself! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT & STOP HURTING YOURSELF! RHIS ISN'T YOU ALISAMA! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF YOU STUPID BITCH!!
DON'T GET DYING OVER THIS RELATIONSHIP!

WHAT'S OVER IS OVER!
Live with it. Your going to love how much this new life you having now. It's going to be way more happier den what u have before.
LEARN HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF!

You know u love him. So leaving him is e best choice cos he doesn't love you anymore n it's cos ur e reason for all this to happen! So there's no point being sad over about. U did this whole cheating thing yourself! U have no one to blame too!
BLAME IT YOURSELF!

Need to get a real long break!
It hurts to much to let go. But I have no choice not to let go. I'll have to deal with my own life & emotions now! Move on! He has already. His happy now. It's pointless!

Sorrow/hurt

It really hurts me a lot..
Why??? Why do u have to cheat n pretend nothing has happen?? Why do u still have to lie to me?? I know everything.. Do u know how much it hurts to see u lie when I know e truth to every single lie u made?? Each lie u said cuts right through my heart. Why this matter?? Why me?? Why her? I don't get it!! Why all this shit? I gave u e chance into this relationship. U said I should give u a chance n that u wouldn't be e same.. But once again. U become someone u said u will never be again. Den why now? Why when I accepted u all but this shit happen? Why change in that sudden second when I thought u have totally changed?! U said u accepted all e shit I've done. But look! Who's e wan accepting all e shit! It was me!! I accepted all ur flaws!! Gave u e chance!! N ur restricting me?! Den why treat me so good?! When u have intended to leave?! Why when my family accepted e fact that I have a boyfriend?! Why when I thought u will never go back e same old you?! Why when I thought u deserve this chance? Everything's back to square 1 again. This will be my limits off everything. No more chance given! I've put in all my heart for this. Sorry if u said I made u sad angry n everything that hurts u. But what I did was half of what u gave me! I keep quiet just so I know what u really up to. Which I'll end this stuffs right here!

Heavy rain night. Never thought this night was so hurtful n hard to spend. I will not forget all this while when we were together I'll keep everything as memories. Kept in e deepest part. Not to be found easily. All I can do is this much of love to u. I couldn't bring myself anymore to love you for what u have did now. I'm sorry but I love you. D': I'VE NEVER EVER WANTED TO WND THIS!! Thanks for all this time by my side never left me.

I LOVE YOU DLWJ ALWAYS DID :) <3

Brand new year 2012!!

It's 2012!! A brand new year!!
It's a new year that I'm with love..
2nd day after new year I left to china for sch trip.. Went about a week.. Will never forget e moments before I left..
Bee called me throughout e time before I get to e gate.. He wanted to come but it was to early n no transport.. So I told him no need to come.. Somehow I manage to connect to wifi n FaceTime .. I was so happy to see him thou it's over e phone.. But I'm still happy.. Thou I wanted to hug him so much.. I was very upset as I hang up e phone.. Teary eyes but control my emotions.. Didn't wan bee to get upset too.. Could he in his eyes he didn't wan to say bye.. Somehow bee always manage to see what I'm thinking sometimes.. Each time I was shock when he knew it.. Or maybe I'm able to know what his thinking.. My cute annoying bf~ ❤

After I reach I went to buy e Internet prepaid card.. Once I got it we what's app e whole time.. More than what we what's app when I'm in sg.. I even tries to FaceTime when I was at e hotel lobby.. I was happy to see him! But after that I was a bit pissed cos his phone was vibrating loudly.. N I said him.. N it was e day before I fly bak.. He said he would come & fetch me from airport.. I wan happy but didn't put much hope.. Cos it's a midnight flight n I'll touch down at 6am.. It's so early.. I thought maybe he wouldn't be able to wake up.. But to my surprise he did wake up n was waiting outside tgt with my mum & sis.. I immidately smile at home & kissed.. My grandparents were also there tgt with my aunt.. I was so happy I came bak & all gathering tgt as a family.. Of course including bf.. Feel super diff after e trip.. Grandma had a 180 degree change in attitude toward him.. He was okay with him n didn't give me a unhappy face.. I was please.. E next day was my baby sis bday n I ask mum could he come along & she agreed.. I was surprised! & happy! Hahah! So I ask him to come along & he came.. On that day onwards everybody knew I had a bf.. I can openly date.. After that week.. He came a few times over my place to have dinner with me & accompany me.. Grandma didn't make a single unhappiness.. This was like a dream to me.. I never thought this would come so soon & sudden! But overall I was relieve that everybody accept e facts.. As soon as all this happens it was my grandma's bday.. I asked mum of bf could come along but mum is afraid that grandma wouldn't like it.. & it was on our 6th monthsary.. I had morning class n ended early.. So I waited for him at amk & have lunch tgt.. After that he when home with me.. To my surprise grandma ask him to come along for dinner celebration. I was shock! But smiled after that.. Mum was shock also after I told her.. Hehehe! Grandma also invited him for cny lunch gathering with my entire family. That was e largest shock of my life! Grandmas love was over flowing in me.. Makes me wan to burst into tears.. Cny 2nd day I ask grandma if he could come & stay over as he has something's to do early morning. Surprisingly grandma agree without much saying from me to her.. Huge step out!! Anw e next day when mum came he wanted to bai nian with mum but didn't know what to say n approach her.. Coincidently she when to toilet just outside my room so I called her in n he shyly bai nian with her.. Super funny scene.. Mum also burst into laugher.. Hahhaa! He wanted to bai nian with grandma too but didn't have e chance.. But grandma gave him a red pack.. From that day onwards I know how it feels when everybody approve your another half & have all gatherings fun! 😄thanks grandma for everything.. Love~