late night

I really really don't know whats going on now!
I'm always feeling so up sad now & then.
This few nights i've been crying a lot.
I miss him so much.
I don't know am i thinking too much or putting things in a bad situation & over think of it.
Actually i'm really scared i still couldn't put down e past hurt i had.
I'm afraid it has become a fear to me.
It's like hunting me each time i try to put all my best in something i really care & love a lot.
I'm scared i'll use him.
I'm scared i'll use him to fill up e hole.
I'm scared i wouldn't love him enough.
I'm scared i'll hurt him super deep.
I'm scared i'll screw everything up.
I'm scared i'll change as time goes.
I'm scared of so many things.
I'm scared of my own feelings.
BUT I'm scared to lose him too.
I don't know what i'm thinking no
I've lost control of myself!
I don't know how to handle things coming my way anymore.
I really wan to get away from this place!
I really need to find a place where i can have sometime for myself to relax not get stress.
It's been a long time since i last cried so badly.
I really need to let it out!
Crying was e best way for me get myself outta stress but again i felt weak by doing so.
This is probably my only weak point.
I've no idea what's going to happen next!
It's been almost 8 months from then till now.
I seriously wants things to get better!
I cant take all this drama anymore.
Think it's too much for me to take it.
NO MORE NONSENSE!
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