Tiring lonely night

been sad in this dark lonely night.. tearing once again hearing music on itunes make me so sad that i had to cry again.. tears just wouldn't listen to me anymore they just flow as & when they wan to.. i've just let my heart take over my mind again.. is it that difficult to just forget everything & left it behind?

i dont know what's wrong with me no more.. 

somehow i have some good feelings for des now.. but i don't know what kind of feeling it is.. doesn't seems to be very obvious at times.. maybe i just have to take a break again to really regain all my confidents in life again.. maybe all this was just a test to see how i can handle this in life.. how can i overcome all this difficulties in life & how fragile life's is.. maybe i just wasn't really ready to take such heavy responsible & commitment yet.. 

for now i just have to take time to finish up what i've just started.. things have to be clear out.. i've to settle myself out too! this is going way to long so strong. i have to be even stronger den this!

I'M ABLE TO DO SETTLE ALL THIS SHIT!