Confuse

HTHT with WD again.
This time round is about whether he should sign on a not & talked about what's going to happen for the next 5 years & how e lifestyle would be like. 2 years not being able to see him & contact less is a super big issue to me actually but I'm sure some how I should be able to fix it or adjust to it thou its going to be a crazy journey down this whole years thingy. I really don't wan to be e reason stopping him to do it & don't wan to be e reason for him to regret. I don't know what's going to happen 5 years down the road. Even that 4 days of not being able to contact with him alr shows everything!! I wasn't able to adjust suddenly but I'll have to learn to adjust all this things in life! I can't possibly think stuff that's me self centered. WD is not thinking this way which hurt me more cos his putting me 1st in everything which makes me falling deeper but I don't wan to do things that hurts him & of course I don't wanna lose him. I know his the type of guy that will love me forever without change. Maybe just sometimes in argument we quarrel & stuff but in e end we will still love each other still. WD always finds its way to fix things back properly & talk things out. Thats 1 thing I like the most! At least he talks about it & doesn't keep it to himself bottling up all.
This hurt painful feeling hasn't hit me for quite awhile. It's hurting me like crazy now! D': I have no idea what's life going to be between me & WD.