after so many months i've finally agree with my heart to let WD enter my life.
but i'm still not official with him yet. i dont know if its a good thing anot. i'm afraid i would hurt him. i still have that phobia in me to fully commit into relationship. :'( thanks to that ASSHOLE EX BF of mine. i dont know how can i love him so much before. really wasted a lot time & effort on him. spend so much tgt with him too but yet i still rmb the happy times we had tgt the few months after broke up instead of hating him for cheating on me. because of him i'm also afraid same thing history is going to happen on me again. i know i can trust WD but i cant trust myself. i dont know what will i do. i dont know if i will hurt him a not. i dont know if he can take my life style. i dont know if he really be able to take my attitude. i can be really bad ass attitude that even my family also cannot take it. but is not something i wan to. i wish i could change but i cant. its like fix into my system already. :'( i really dont know if i should go official. i dont wan to hurt him. his a nice guy he doesnt deserved to get hurt if i were too. maybe i shouldnt have turn the table the other way around back. should have stayed how we use to be. but again i sort of love him now. i dont dislike him like how i use to get annoyed by whatever he does. i always wan to see him no matter how much i say i DO NOT WANT TO! i always say words without filtering which hurts him indirectly unintentional. :'( never fails to check my phone always to see if i get any text or tweet from him. always checking his tweet. now i felt that his actual the guy i always envy to have. the nice sweet guy with surprises never fails to make u smile makes me love him more each time. i dont wan to lose him thou. i wan to keep him locked beside me forever. just that he has slightly bad temper, emotion & impatient. wonder how long will we last this long. his the sweetest so far. always there for me. spare me a lot of time no matter how much things he have to do & how tired he is. im quite hard to please which makes me guilty sometimes. but i dont know how to change. & i dont wan to change cos this is ME! he always fufill anything im craving for or whats on my mind. is like he knows me at the back of his friends. it feels like his always proud to have my everywhere he goes. he always talks about me. im like trending everywhere. he always brings me along to meet his friends. is he proud of having me that he wants to show everybody im his girl?? :| i really dont know whats going to happen down the road. all i know now is that i'm going to treasure what i have now den to regret ltr like 4 years back.
YOU CAN DO IT AMLY!! HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF!!
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