Christmas~

Had an awesome Christmas party!!!! Thou I wasn't happy at 1st when celebrating at aunt hse but after that I was super happy max!! When clubbing with grand aunt, aunt, her bf & yuhru.. I was actually disappointed cos Dennis didn't celebrate tgt.. He was sick plus he didn't like Christmas.. But I have to understand.. Anw I still enjoyed myself cos I was fucking high!! Dancing like crazy~ awesome night!!!!!! Lucky I didn't drunk.. Else my grand aunt will be in shock!! Hahahaha!! Party until wedge spoil & I have to use my rubber band to tie 1st.. But I took off & dance bare foot when I'm at groove.. Haha!! Ppl was looking at me but I fuck care man.. As long as I enjoyed myself everything's okay!!!!!!!! :D
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!

Loved

Super happy 19th birthday I had.. I will remember this day of my life.. Had so much fun!! Fucking high n drunk.. Thanks bee for looking after me.. Thanks baby & Meimei clean up my mess.. Thanks everybody who clean up my mess too.. Thanks everybody for coming to my celebration.. Plus sorry people who I did funny thing when I was drunk.. So SORRY!!!!
After that night all e things that happen I understand what happen n I'm clear of e things that I was thinking/worrying & what was on his mind.. Thanks Andorria helped me in it.. I thought we would just end like that.. But after that night I'm more confirm that I don't wanna leave him at all.. It was all me that I was thinking too much.. I suddenly lost secure from him.. & doubt e trust.. Now.. It's all over!! I'm clear of everything now.. :D super clear of my heart.. Bee I love you!! I love you DLWJ!!!! <3
Once again I'm sorry that night I was drunk n hugged other guys.. Sorry I make u keep so many things inside all to urself.. Make u suffer so much.. I've stop contacting guys so much already.. Unless they talk to me I reply a few den nv talk already.. Cos I have you it's enough already.. I don't need other guys.. I know where I belong.. <3 :D
I'm so SORRY!!!! For everything.. I shouldn't have think so much.. I love you always..

Love baby<3

Happy

I smiled!! I thought I wouldn't have this feels bak again.. Just as I knew I was thinking too much.. Just as I saw u I was smiling.. No pain.. No bleed.. Not broken.. My heart was fixing bak on its own.. Guess ur e cure to all my problems.. I really love today.. This moments tgt.. Miss all this feelings.. Love all this feelings.. :D thanks bee for all this happy moments.. I'm going to miss u MAX!! Wish everything could stop here.. Wish everyday could be like that.. Wish every moment could stay like this..
Wish every part every single day of my life there will be u taking part, joining me forever.. Think I'm gonna marry u.. 1st time having this feeling of wanting to really settling down for life..
Once again I think I'm naive..
If this is a wonderland it would be e most dramatic story I ever come across..

Understand

Ive made up my mind.. I will leave.. As long as ur happy I will.. Guess ur able to move on faster den me.. Guess I'm not good enough for u.. I will keep everything a secret.. U wouldn't know all this.. Just take it as im a bad gf.. Just another girl that doesn't makes u happy.. Having me doesn't make ur life any better.. Thanks for this 4 mths.. I'm really very happy.. Never in my life I have put so much effort in it.. Ur real special in my life. I'm willing to do so much thing for u.. Thinking bak, I wouldn't have done it if I wouldn't have love u so deep.. I guess I can't take e hot & cold.. My trust was there.. My heart was there.. Now I'm broken.. Just gonna pretend I'm fine.. I will be fine.. Maybe it's just me thinking too much.. Sorry!

I love you DLWJ<3
Always will..
Love baby..

Teary

It's been 4 mth seen we were tgt.. So many things happen within this 4mth.. I don't understand why we r like that now?! Why?? Why make me fall so deep n u ignore me now? Treating me hot n cold! What is this?? Seriously?! Why!!! We were fine n happy for w past 2 mth.. Den something happen n u disappear!! I was so up sad that period of time.. But I know u didn't just disappear for no reason.. I know something must have happen that ur like that.. N I guess correctly.. Something really did happen.. I helped u solve it.. Den everything was fine.. Den why now this?! Just becos I was close to keyon n he called me dear? Den ur like piss?! I didn't even get mad when ur close with other girl!! He's drunk that's y he anyhow talk.. I didn't contact him now.. Can all this get over with? R u not going to talk to me anymore? Why bee?? Why?? Why this time?? Why now?? Why did I fell so deep?? U don't trust me? Or u change? U didn't love me?! I'm totally broken now.. I don't know what to do.. I don't wanna loose u.. R u better off without me? Why I'm so serious in this r/s now n ur like that?? I did so much I've nv done before.. U made me feel ur so special in my life n now ur gone.. Why!!!!!!!! I'm tired of crying my self to sleep.. Can u tell me why? U don't love me already? Or am I just so stupid that i though u would like me this kind of person? WHY BEE!!!!!! I miss u so much.. I don't know how to stop thinking of u.. I've loose u once.. I hate that feeling.. I don't wan a second time.. Is it that much for me to ask for? I'm always so scared to loose u.. R u afraid to loose me? Do u even give a fuck about me? Were u jealous or wat?! What r u thinking now?? Have u ever missed me?? Did I ever come across ur mind ?? Becos u always come across my mind.. I dont know how I'm gonna live life without u when u were so impt n mean so much to me.. I'm super pain.. Baby can u tell me ..

Watched soccer!!

我上辈子做了设么？
Why is my life so happening??
Why is everything going wrong??
Why everything must happen on me??
Why can't I just have a normal life without things happening??
Why everything must fall when I just started to wan to have a proper life?
Why must things happen when I'm feeling bliss??
Why sadness must come after happiness??
So many why who can ans this question for me? Thou I know some ans to it..
Another sleepless night.. :(
My heart sinks when ever I hear u say facts. It sinks even deeper when e truth comes out from ur mouth..