Surprise

13mar2012
This was e day that everything stops!
I don't know how but I got a sudden courage to did e talking & break up. But I walked away after I found the answer that I wanted to know. N cos I couldn't hide my emotions anymore n after I walked away I had a bad relieve. I drop down crying damn badly n walked all e way home. I knew I had to clam down. But I still needed help from alcohol to do that. Drank 1 can at least it stop my tears n pain in my heart for awhile n after that I didn't feel a thing anymore. From that on I didn't talk a single word. Not until a call from him again e next day saying he still has some more things to talk about. But I didn't wan to cos everything was said clearly n I know u got ur heart straight already. So stop all that talking that u want to tell me! I've understand everything that happened already! That's no point telling me anymore! I've done e break up already! Now just stop it! I'm no longer anybody to u & u can't control me anymore. Just go get busy with your new girl! She will be delighted to entertain u that whole time!

That week when I knew something is wrong & I got it all right about my senses?! That's where I've hind u that I knew something's wrong & I thought u would have sense it n tell me the truth. But u didn't. U continue hiding me from the truth n that makes me hurt so much & came to know my heart stops beating for you.
A month ago was where we stopped!
It was so hard for me to say the break up n caught u with u girl talking tgt. It cuts right through my heart. From e moment u say cos I started all this I know I've lost everything. N I have no trust anymore. Not a single love inside me for you was there! Everything becomes hate! This is e only way to for me to forget who u were to me. Easier for me to get back with my life without you. I know I wouldn't matters to u anymore. Hope your choice on this whole cheating thing is wat u wanted.

It's just another break up!! I'll be able to deal with it. No problems. Just this time it's slightly harder for me to let go & forget what has happened! I'll be able to overcome all this facts. Not a single memory will be remembered! AMLY you have to forget what all this months have happened! IT'S ALL JUST A DREAM!! Back to reality! This world is cruel nothing it gonna make your life easier. You just have to suck it up! Live e life u want not bring more hurt to yourself! YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT & STOP HURTING YOURSELF! RHIS ISN'T YOU ALISAMA! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF YOU STUPID BITCH!!
DON'T GET DYING OVER THIS RELATIONSHIP!

WHAT'S OVER IS OVER!
Live with it. Your going to love how much this new life you having now. It's going to be way more happier den what u have before.
LEARN HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF!

You know u love him. So leaving him is e best choice cos he doesn't love you anymore n it's cos ur e reason for all this to happen! So there's no point being sad over about. U did this whole cheating thing yourself! U have no one to blame too!
BLAME IT YOURSELF!

Need to get a real long break!
It hurts to much to let go. But I have no choice not to let go. I'll have to deal with my own life & emotions now! Move on! He has already. His happy now. It's pointless!

Sorrow/hurt

It really hurts me a lot..
Why??? Why do u have to cheat n pretend nothing has happen?? Why do u still have to lie to me?? I know everything.. Do u know how much it hurts to see u lie when I know e truth to every single lie u made?? Each lie u said cuts right through my heart. Why this matter?? Why me?? Why her? I don't get it!! Why all this shit? I gave u e chance into this relationship. U said I should give u a chance n that u wouldn't be e same.. But once again. U become someone u said u will never be again. Den why now? Why when I accepted u all but this shit happen? Why change in that sudden second when I thought u have totally changed?! U said u accepted all e shit I've done. But look! Who's e wan accepting all e shit! It was me!! I accepted all ur flaws!! Gave u e chance!! N ur restricting me?! Den why treat me so good?! When u have intended to leave?! Why when my family accepted e fact that I have a boyfriend?! Why when I thought u will never go back e same old you?! Why when I thought u deserve this chance? Everything's back to square 1 again. This will be my limits off everything. No more chance given! I've put in all my heart for this. Sorry if u said I made u sad angry n everything that hurts u. But what I did was half of what u gave me! I keep quiet just so I know what u really up to. Which I'll end this stuffs right here!

Heavy rain night. Never thought this night was so hurtful n hard to spend. I will not forget all this while when we were together I'll keep everything as memories. Kept in e deepest part. Not to be found easily. All I can do is this much of love to u. I couldn't bring myself anymore to love you for what u have did now. I'm sorry but I love you. D': I'VE NEVER EVER WANTED TO WND THIS!! Thanks for all this time by my side never left me.

I LOVE YOU DLWJ ALWAYS DID :) <3